According to the film The Usual Suspects, "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Though undoubtedly an impressive feat, it would be unfair on Satan to suggest he is just a one trick pony - the Dark Prince has managed a few other masterful swindles yet to be celebrated by film-makers.

In an effort to right an historical wrong, I would like to call for a greater appreciation of some of Beelzebub's so called lesser works. Most pertinently, I would like to spotlight the creative genius behind the branding of Hell.

Across history and religions Lucifer has successfully sold the idea that his home town is a deep, firey pit in which the most elaborate physical tortures are performed. Most people are therefore comforted by the feeling that they would recognise the gates of the underworld if they came near them - the screams of the damned, furious heat and a pallete of black and orange all being give-away clues.

However, were the road to hell to be so garishly signposted, it is unlikely that many people would find themselves proceeding very far down it. So I'm guessing that as a natural marketter, the Lord Of Lies would more probably design Hell a place where people would choose to go. For this reason, my own personal vision of hell is any of the shopping malls in Guatemala City.